Well, let me tell you, this Arctic Shortee Collection thing, it’s got me all riled up. I seen them young folks wearin’ these things, all sorts of colors and whatnot. Says “Arctic Shortee” on ’em, so they must keep you cool, I reckon. I don’t know, I like my old clothes just fine. But these kids, they gotta have the latest things.
I heard some people talking, sayin’ they was looking for these Arctic Shortee things online. Said they were special, some kind of “exclusive offers” is what they called them. I tell ya, these city folks sure come up with fancy words for plain old clothes.

They say it’s “lightweight” and “breathable” or somethin’. Now, my old cotton dress is breathable. You just gotta loosen the strings a bit. And lightweight? What’s wrong with a good, sturdy piece of clothing that’ll last ya a lifetime? This Arctic Shortee Collection just seem to come up recently.
- These young folks, always chasin’ the new thing.
- They got all these different kind of shorts.
- Even got some for the men, I heard.
I saw one of ’em the other day, a young fella, wearing these Arctic Shortee shorts. They were bright blue, like a robin’s egg. Now, I don’t know what’s so special about ’em, but he seemed mighty proud. Said they were “comfortable”. Well, my old overalls are comfortable. Been wearing them for years.
And they say these Arctic Shortee things got “top brands”. What’s a brand anyway? Back in my day, you just bought clothes that fit and lasted. Didn’t matter what name was sewn on the inside. Nowadays, it’s all about the name.

They got these “rewards” too. I reckon it’s like getting a free pie after you buy ten. Only with these Arctic Shortee things, you don’t get no pie. You just get more clothes. Don’t see the point in that.
I seen some of these shorts with fancy patterns on ’em. Some look like a flower garden exploded on ’em. Now, I like flowers as much as the next person, but I don’t need ’em on my clothes. Plain and simple, that’s what I say. These Arctic Shortee Collection things are just too much.
And they got these special kind of shorts, “tailored” they call ’em. What does that even mean? I thought all shorts were made the same way. You cut the fabric, sew it together, and there you have it. But no, these Arctic Shortee things gotta be “tailored”.

- They say these tailored shorts are “formal”.
- What’s formal about shorts?
- I don’t get it.
- But the young people sure love ’em.
- Guess it’s a mystery to me.
I heard ’em talkin’ about “fast shipping” too. Back in my day, you wanted something, you went to the store and got it. Now, they just click a few buttons and it shows up at your door. Don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Seems kinda lazy to me. This Arctic Shortee Collection is everywhere.
And “easy returns”. What’s that about? If you buy something, you should keep it. Unless it’s got a hole in it, then you take it back to the store and get a new one. Simple as that. But these young folks, they just send things back all willy-nilly. This Arctic Shortee thing is just part of the trend I guess.
They even got these special shorts for men, called “streetwear” or something like that. Now, I thought all clothes were for wearin’ on the street. What else would you do with ’em? These Arctic Shortee people sure do come up with some strange ideas.

I saw one of them young ladies wearing these short shorts the other day, made of denim, all dark and fancy-looking. Said they were “stylish.” She paired them with a white shirt, all unbuttoned. Now, I don’t know about stylish, but it sure did look uncomfortable.
And they say these “long shorts” are the new thing. Now that just sounds silly. If they’re long, they ain’t shorts! They’re just pants that somebody cut the legs off of. These Arctic Shortee Collection folks are just tryin’ to confuse everybody, I reckon.
I heard someone say that these Arctic Shortee things are gonna be everywhere this summer. Well, I guess I better get used to seeing ’em. Can’t stop these young folks from wearing what they want. But I still think my old clothes are just fine.
