Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, oh, those things! My grandkids, they just love ’em. They got a whole bunch of ’em, these little plastic fellas. Cost a pretty penny, I tell ya, but keeps ’em busy, I guess. They got all sorts, big ones, little ones, some that even look like they been in a fight, all beat up and scratched. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, that’s what they call ’em.
They got these four main ones, all green. And they have their different colored bandanas, and they carry these weapons around. I don’t know what they’re used for. They play with them all the time. They even had a girl one, once upon a time, that was named after some statue, not a painter like the others, go figure. They’re always carrying them around, making all sorts of noises. All these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, they sure are somethin’.

These things, they’re everywhere now. Back in my day, we didn’t have all these fancy toys. We played outside with sticks and rocks! But these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, they’re all the rage. My neighbor’s boy, he’s got a whole room full of them. Some of them are old, from way back, when they first came out, I reckon. He says they’re worth a lot of money, more than the new ones. Says they are old, but in good condition. I don’t know about all that. They’re just toys to me.
The grandkids tell me all these stories about ’em. They say they’re heroes, these turtles. They fight bad guys and save the day. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me, but it keeps them entertained, I suppose. They even know the names of all those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures. All four of those green guys. There is also a rat, and some bad guys too. Too many of these little plastic guys, if you ask me.
They got one that’s all beat up, they call him Slash. He’s got all these marks on him, like he’s been in a real brawl. He is one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures too. It is 7 inches, whatever that means. I don’t know why they like that one so much, looks a mess to me. But they love him. They got all these playsets too, places where the turtles live and fight, I guess. So many pieces.

- They got Leonardo, he’s the leader, I think. Wears blue.
- Then there’s Raphael, he’s the angry one. He’s got red.
- Donatello, he’s the smart one, they say. Purple for him.
- And Michelangelo, he’s the funny one. Orange bandana, that one.
They had a show about these turtles, they tell me. A concert or something. Back in 1990. I don’t remember that, but they say it happened. Apparently, they sold these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures during that show, and those are worth a lot now, or so they say. One of those turtles, the orange one, is the last one left, they told me. I don’t know why they picked him. They all look the same to me, these green fellas.
I went to the store the other day, and they had a whole aisle of these things. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures, big and small. They had ones that looked like the ones from the old days, and ones that looked all new and fancy. They even had vehicles for them to ride in. It’s crazy, I tell ya. All these toys!
The kids, they trade ’em, they buy ’em, they sell ’em. It’s a whole world, this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures thing. They got all these friends who collect ’em too. They’re always talkin’ about ’em, showin’ ’em off. It’s a bit much for me, but they seem to enjoy it. They are just kids, after all.

I guess if it makes them happy, it’s all right. But I still think they’re just overpriced plastic toys. But hey, what do I know? I’m just an old lady. I don’t understand these things, these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures. As long as they don’t leave them laying around for me to step on, we’re good.
One of these days I’m going to get them a couple of real turtles for pets. Maybe they will throw those plastic ones away then. No, I don’t think that is going to happen. They love those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figures of theirs. Kids are going to be kids, and if those green plastic fellas make them happy, then I’m happy too.